The Power of Self-Validation: How to Be On Your Own Team

A little vulnerability moment: I am constantly working on being a better member of my own support team. This is probably one of the toughest roles I play as a creative...learning how to be accepting of myself and my work without harsh judgement or criticism. When I start a big project or a new piece of work, I’m often first filled with self-doubt about my abilities, and that can sometimes spiral into imposter syndrome and feeling like a fraud. Can you relate?

I find that this happens to many creatives, regardless of where they are in their career or how much experience they have. Many times, we rely on external validation and approval from others to prove to ourselves that our work is worthy, that we are, in fact, “Artists” or “Creatives”. This external validation may come in the form of the number of purchases we receive, comments on our work, or the number of “Likes” and followers we can garner on social media.

Of course, there is nothing inherently bad about receiving external validation, but this type of feedback can be fleeting and unstable. People can’t always be there to give us the validation that we crave. Relying too much on outside sources for validation can decrease our motivation, lower our self-esteem, and eventually lead to burnout.

So what’s the alternative?

“Radiate” by Sarah Va Xiong

The Power of Self-Validation

Self-Validation, or internal validation, is the non-judgmental acceptance and affirmation of our own internal experiences, thoughts, and emotions. When we practice self-validation, we rely less on external sources to define our worth. We are able to accept ourselves as we are, have a more realistic understanding of our strengths and weaknesses, be more mindful of our thoughts and emotions, believe in our abilities, and encourage and empower ourselves.

Going inward for validation not only increases motivation, but it allows us to create from a place of courage and sincere self-expression. We become less worried about the judgments of others and more focused on our own joy of creating for ourselves. In the end, we become kinder, more loving, and more accepting of ourselves and our work.

How You Can Practice Self-Validation

Want to get better at being your own support system and relying less on external validation? Here are 5 ways you can practice self-validation.

1. Define Your Why:
   What are your values? What motivates you? What is important to you? Evaluating and defining your “why” not only helps you create an identity that is separate from what others tell you, but it helps to bring you back to the core of what makes YOU happy. It becomes a compass to guide you so that you can lead your life and make decisions more confidently.

2. Be Mindful:
   Being aware of the thoughts you tell yourself and how they make you feel can help you notice what kinds of thoughts are negatively affecting your self-esteem and self-worth. Try to notice these thoughts and emotions without judgment. Remind yourself that they are just thoughts. As you begin to notice these thoughts and how they affect you, you’ll be able to start reframing these thoughts into more compassionate and encouraging ones.

3. Talk To Yourself Like A Friend:
   It is often easier for us to give validation to others than it is to validate ourselves. Imagine what you would say to a friend if they were in the same situation you were in, or voiced the same feelings of self-doubt that you had. Try to give that same encouragement and compassion to yourself.

4. Celebrate Small Wins:
   When you suffer from self-doubt, it can be difficult and even uncomfortable to acknowledge your accomplishments. Practice doing this in small doses. Remind yourself that progress is still progress, no matter how big or small. Remembering to celebrate your small wins will help you practice recognizing your accomplishments and strengths.

5. Recognize and Prioritize Your Needs:
   When you notice yourself seeking external validation, ask yourself what needs you are trying to fulfill from that feedback. Are you able to fulfill these needs on your own? When you are able to identify and prioritize your own needs, you rely less on others to fulfill those needs for you. You are also better able to articulate your needs when you ask for help. This empowers you to take better care of yourself, set boundaries, and know your limits.

Practicing self-validation can be challenging and it takes time and patience. I am still practicing this skill myself, but like all skills, it gets easier each time you do it. The more you practice it, the more automatic it becomes.

Affirmations for the Self-Validated Creative

Need a bit more of a boost to start your self-validation journey? Here are some affirmations for the self-validated creative. I invite you to use them when you need a little bit of help lifting yourself up.

• The acceptance that I seek can be found within me.

• I am competent and capable of meeting my needs.

• I accept and acknowledge my journey and progress.

• I allow myself to feel my emotions without judgment.

• I acknowledge and celebrate all of my achievements.

• I have the courage to express myself sincerely.

Summary

Self-Validation empowers us to take action without seeking permission or approval from others. It helps us define our own worth outside of the opinions of those around us. As creatives, when we rely less on external validation, we can create from a place of authentic self-expression. We give ourselves the freedom to show up as we truly are so that we can embrace and express the unique gifts and perspectives that we bring to the world.